I waited my entire life for June 20, 2015 I just didn't know it. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and went into my guest room to wake up my parents and give them their wedding day gifts that I had been waiting to give them for months. I remember feeling eerily calm. I took a shower and Krysta showed up to do my hair and makeup. We didn't listen to a "Wedding Day Playlist" there wasn't screeching or excited laughter. Everyone was calm and it seemed like any other day. I remember Krysta saying how weird it was that I was so calm. Don't get me wrong, I was SO excited. We had been waiting for this day for months. Finally all of the planning was done and it was my day. I sat on the chair in the bathroom while Krysta did my hair and I texted Bryce to make sure he has actually woken up. My dad brought me a cheese quesadilla (I think he was pretty nervous because who cooks or eats a quesadilla at 7 in the morning?) I took a small bite and immediately felt sick. Nerves? Nah I just wasn't hungry for a quesadilla. I remember Bryce walking in the door to the apartment. He had his wedding suit and was all smiles. And it hit me. We were getting married in 4 hours. The next thing I remember is being keeled over the toilet throwing up and sobbing (Sorry if that's a little tmi). I couldn't move. I couldn't sit in that chair any longer and I didn't think I'd even make it to the temple. I remember thinking that poor Bryce must be freaking out or thinking that I was reconsidering getting married. Which of course was not even remotely accurate, I had no idea what was happening. I remember my dad giving me a blessing as I was hovered over the toilet. That was a pretty amazing moment as weird as it sounds. There were a lot of emotions from everyone in the room. It was a special moment with my dad in my final hours as a Feil that I will never forget. Finally I was able to get back in the chair and let Krysta finish my hair and makeup. What a whirlwind.
We were late, which is so not my personality but I didn't even care. I felt lucky to even make it to the car. I had pictured mine and Bryce's car ride to the temple as being filled with laughter and anxious talk about how this one thing that we had wanted and waited so long for would soon be here and past. However it was nothing like that. I put my feet on the dash and my head between my legs trying so hard not to get sick. The car ride was remotely silent. Bryce was flying through Utah trying to get to the temple which was an hour away and we were already very late. We got to the temple and I got out of the car and immediately sat on the ground in the parking lot. The temple doors seemed like an eternity away. I got up and we walked inside. Our families were already there waiting and the temple worker turned to me and said, "Oh we were so worried that you weren't going to make it." Yeah, me and you both lady. My (future) sis-in-law Holly walked over and said "The bride is never late." Finally, something more comforting than "Hey, we didn't know if you were coming to your own wedding." We got checked in and situated and then parted ways to get dressed. My mom was with me and if she hadn't been I don't know what I would have done. The temple workers gave me juice, crackers, and mints to try and calm my stomach. I got dressed and headed up to meet Bryce. Once I saw Bryce in the temple I felt immediately at ease. We were able to finish off the sealing ceremony perfectly. For the first time all day I didn't feel sick and I was able to really enjoy and appreciate the beautiful ceremony which was perfect beyond words. So many people had come to support us that people was sharing chairs and some even had to stand. Afterwards, I remember my mom helping me into my wedding dress after the temple sealing was over and I looked at her and said "First I was single, now I'm married..WHAT!? (inside joke between the Feil fam) We both laughed, I felt like myself again and I was so excited for the rest of the day! Our family gathered outside of the temple and Bryce and I walked out at Husband and Wife! It was horribly hot outside and we were out there for HOURS taking pictures. Once we were done we headed to the reception center where the family gathered to eat some pre-reception lunch. It was the first food I had eaten all day at it was about 4:30 p.m. I was so excited to see the reception hall all finished. I mean, I had been planning this wedding for my entire life. Funny story though, I remember not caring. There were a couple tweaks we made around the room to decorations but all in all, it was the least important thing to me. Your whole life you imagine you wedding and the reception and in the moment, it didn't matter.
Around 6 p.m. guests started showing up. We were standing in our receiving line and I felt nauseous again. I was brought a stool to sit down but it didn't help. I charged into the bridal suite with my mom and tore of my dress. I felt so claustrophobic. My dress weighted a bazillion pounds and I was not having it. I stayed in there until the receiving line was over. Super awkward for my dad and Bryce. "Hey I'm the brides dad and I don't know any of you!" "Oh thanks for the congrats on getting married to my imaginary wife who is nowhere to be found!" Whoops. The rest of the reception is a blur. I finally pulled myself together enough to get back out there and dance and eat cake. We had a killer DJ and we had a blast. We danced and laughed and had a party. I couldn't tell you who was there or what they said to me. Bryce still mentions people that were there and I don't remember a thing. All I cared about was that I was married to my best friend and my family was with me. Nothing else mattered.
Bryce and I decided to leave the reception an hour earlier than originally planned. We were exhausted and I was yet again not feeling so great. We had talked to the DJ prior to the wedding about what songs to play when. We had decided to play "Today Was A Fairytale" by Taylor Swift as everyone was walking outside to do our sparkler exit. Everyone had left the reception hall and gone outside with the sparklers. I had hugged my family goodbye and then it was just me and Bryce alone with Tay Swift and I lost it. I just started crying uncontrollably. But I wasn't sad at all. I was so happy that I couldn't even control myself. As silly as it sounds that song just hit me. That day, despite all of the hiccups was a complete and total fairy tale. The most perfect memories came from the most imperfect moments of that day. We walked outside, I was still crying and we walked down the sidewalk filled with family and friends holding sparklers. I couldn't help but laugh to myself because it was 8:30 p.m. and still bright as day outside. And we had sparklers. Again, so not how I had pictured it and I didn't even care.
So maybe our wedding day wasn't pinterest or dream board worthy. From the outside, the day was nothing close to perfect. But to me and Bryce it was amazing and I would never change a thing about it. It was fun and exciting and everything that I wanted it to be. I find it humorous how much time we spent planning and worrying and crying over the smallest of details about the wedding day. In the end, the last thing on my mind was which pictures were on the tables at the reception. At that point, I would have been okay with boxed Pillsbury cake at my apartment. Because I was married to my best friend and we were starting the greatest journey together and that was all that mattered.
- 11:46:00 AM
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